"I was a dancer all along"

I have never been an excellent conversationist.

Awkward silences love me, and often plague me at the most inconvenient times.

I don't express my honest feelings often.

There's always the fear that someone doesn't care, or unwanted attention will come my way, or someone could be hurt.

I was very fortunate at a very young age to discover a way around this little troubling characteristic of mine, with my dear friend Dance.

I'm sure you have heard people say this before and it may sound a bit cliché, but believe me when I say there is not better way to express "Hey, I'm really happy," or "I just want to punch you in the face right now, but I'll dance it out instead." You can release the happiest happiness or the saddest sadness this way. I have found no better way to express myself in the 20 years (almost 21) of my time here on earth.

Dance has carried me through some rough times. I don't share feelings with others easily, and at the worst and saddest times of my life Dance was there for me and encouragingly saying "let it out, everything will be alright."

I feel incredibly fortunate to have had the experiences with Dance that I have had. Dance took me to the opening and closing ceremonies of the olympics in SLC. Dance introduced me to some of the friends I have had for years, and I hope I will have for years to come. Dance has allowed an escape. Dance has made my life better. Dance lets me share and express and speak in ways I can't otherwise.

Dance has been my life since I was 5, and I am so incredibly grateful for that.

The reason this has been so prevalent on my mind the last couple of days is because of this little sister of mine. She amazes me. And she was singing a little song called "Dance Dance Dance" by Lykke Li the other night and the lyrics describe me perfectly, if I do say so myself. It is over there ---> in my playlist if you are interested in listening. The lyrics are as follows:

Having troubles telling how I feel but I can dance, dance, dance.

Couldn't possibly tell you how I mean but I can dance, dance, dance.

So when I trip on my feet look at the beat the words are written in the sand.

When I'm shakin' my hips look for the swing the words are written in the air.

Oh dance.

I was a dancer all along.

Dance, dance, dance.

Words can never make up for what you do.

Easy conversations, no such thing, no I'm shy, shy, shy.

My hips they lie 'cause in reality I'm shy shy shy.

But when I trip on my feet look at the ground the words are written in the dust.

When I'm shakin' my hips look for the swing the words are written in the air.

Dance.

I was a dancer all along.

Dance, dance, dance.

Words can never make up for what you do.

Oh dance.

I was a dancer all along.

Dance, dance, dance.

Words can never make up for what you do.

Dance, dance, dance.

Oh I was a dancer all along.

Words can never make up for what you do...

I was a dancer all along.

Good thoughts after a rough round of finals

Finals are over with. Hallelujah praise the Lord. Now here are some happy thoughts (or just thoughts) going through my head:

1. Finals are over. 'nuff said.

2. Despite getting an 80% on a final paper in my Southern Mesoamerican class, I am quite pleased with my self. I wrote that paper in less than a day and it came out 6 pages instead of 10, but my professor thought my comparison of Maya "friendly terminations" and damnatio memoraie of Roman Emperors was "fascinating." Yes, he said fascinating. Accomplished. I feel it. That comparison saved me from a big fat EFFE! ("F" in italian...)

3. Once again, all finals should be like Brother Bott's. His was painless, easy, open note, and I still learned a hecka lot from it. We grade them together in class and then talk about it as we go along. I like that method. Also, I'm going to miss Brother Bott. He is just fantastic.

4. I have really great friends. I'm going to miss them all as they go off to Texas, Idaho, Washington, California, India, etc. etc. for the holidays, but we will party when everyone comes back. And a great and epic party it shall be.

5. I'm going to DisneyWorld tomorrow morning. DisneyWorld! For 9 days! With a side trip to Harry Potter Land! That's right fools, be jealous.

6. Not only do I get to go to DisneyWorld, but it will be with my ENTIRE family! (Minus Bryan. Sorry Dr. Mason, we'll miss you). I LOVE my family and all the time we've been able to spend together these holidays.

7. Other great things are happening that will not be discussed here, but just know they are great and they are happening.

8. I know how to make an infinity scarf. And I'm kind of a pro.

9. Peppermint frosties from Wendys are delicious and a GREAT way to celebrate the end of finals with friends.

10. I don't have to think about ANYTHING except family, fun, and Mickey Mouse for the next two weeks. That just sounds fantastic.

I survived and I'm feeling really great about life! I hope (if you are in school) that finals went well for you as well and that now you can just focus on the happiness of the holidays and not having any real obligations. As the italians say it, cherish "la dolce far niente," the sweetness of doing nothing. I know I will surely be enjoying it.

Some Christmas favorites

THIS is my favorite Christmas song:

These are some of my favorite Christmas movies:

And of course:

This is my favorite Christmas tradition:

10 things I've learned while studying for finals:

(you'd think I would know all these things from past semesters, but you get slammed with new realizations, or ones that you forgot about, every dang time...)

1. Having an 8 o clock class is very unproductive and just a very bad idea. For example, while studying for my Greek test I read this in my notes: "Venetians are fighting the Turks in 1600s, Turks were using the Parthenon as a storage for their weapons and gun powder. Venetians shooted a rocket into the temple and it all blowed up." Really great grammar McKell. 10 points to you. And another comment from one of my friends I'm studying with: "Here's what I know about the Parthenon: It's in Greece. It's big. It bows. There was a giant statue of Athena in it. And it was blown up from the inside out." Also found in the notes: "the skanctuary of Akleipos..." that could be misconstrued as something entirely different from what it is...Classes at 8 am should be banned.

2. Studying in the weeks leading up to finals would be a good idea, even if it's only like 20 minutes a day or something. Cramming can be efficient, but only if you're brain is functioning at its full capacity, which mine is not these days.

3. Sleep is a must. I have been thinking I could survive on an average of 3 hours of sleep a night for the past week. That theory was disproved when I came home to study more and fell asleep for four hours last night. ha! I guess I needed it?

4. The annoying socialites that take over my normal study place on the 5th floor HBLL during finals are on my hit list. For serious. Go find your own place to study.

5. The Bookstore likes to rip people off. I got $11 back from a book I paid $70 for. $11!!! Ridiculous. We KNOW they'll just come back and sell that for $70 again. Idiots. It's a scam.

6. Having to worry about your students' Christmas recital and whether or not they are prepared does not add to my happiness during finals.

7. Toy Story 3 is a really great movie (my roomie and I may or may not have watched it at 12 last night...)

8. Christmas music does not help you focus on the task at hand. It only gets you thinking about the great holiday you will be spending in Florida with your family starting in 3 days.

9. Despite what you may think, people are incredibly willing to help you out during finals if you're missing a lot (and by a lot I mean the majority) of notes from a class. Shout out to Emily Larsen! You da bomb.

10. Brother Bott's form of tests, or "Celebrations" as he calls them, are the greatest and happiest form of finals there could be. All professors should strive to be like Bro. Bott. He is ranked #1 in the nationon ratemyprofessors.com after all.

There will probably be more revelations during these next two days of finals that I will want to share with you. You (re)learn something new everyday.

2 finals down. 3 to go.

Imma kill you finals. Imma kill you ded.

Rough week

So I haven't posted about anything that has been happening lately because it was kind of a miserable week. I pulled 2 all nighters and had SO much stuff to do and have been making a lot of trips back and forth to Provo from SL valley and Springville and have had several melt downs. But I received some really great news last night that helped bring me back to life. My dearest bestest best friend Brittany Ann Blood got engaged yesterday to Mr. Grayson Pollock. She called to tell me last night and the two of them came over to tell me the proposal story and show me the ring (which, by the way is GORGEOUS and dreamy). They were just glowing and it made me really happy. In fact I cried I was so happy. They are perfect for each other and I couldn't be more excited for their big day. :)

Brit and I at Thriller in October.

Also this week, I realized I have not watched a Christmas movie yet this holiday season. That is horrible. And I've hardly been listening to Christmas music. So I haven't really been feeling the Christmas spirit. Then today in church our sacrament meeting was all Christmas music and the reading of the Nativity story in Luke. That really bumped up my Christmas spirit. After church I came home and watched this commercial my roommate showed me and I REALLY am now feeling the Christmas spirit a bit more.

It makes me happy.

I just realized I'll be in Florida in a week. I'm excited but I can't REALLY get excited because I have other things on my mind and I haven't been able to think about that a whole lot. It will be SO fun to be with the family in the happiest place on earth. I could really use it after this extremely tough semester. Let's just hope I survive finals this next week...

I know I've been posting lame things lately with not really any details of what's going on in my life, but I saw this today and REALLY loved it. You're going to too. I just know. Just wanted to share. :)

Thought of You from Ryan J Woodward on Vimeo.

Things I have done. 2 years later.

So I did this two years ago when Nat tagged me for it. And I was just looking back and realized I can check off a few more things! Excitement. I want to keep updating this every other year. What things have you done?!

Things I Have Done

the bolded and italicized ones are things I have done, and the *s are things I've added since last time

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightening storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty (or at least as far as they let you these days)
18. Grown your own vegatables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train*
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors*
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing (indoors)
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person*
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain*
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone Whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp*
67. Bounced a check*
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job*
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car* (Well, with father dearest's help...)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Visited the White House
86. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
87. Had chickenpox
88. Saved someone's life
89. Sat on a jury
90. Met someone famous
91. Joined a book club
92. Lost a loved one
93. Had a baby
94. Seen the Alamo in person
95. Swam in the Great Salt Lake (gross)
96. Been involved in a law suit
97. Owned a cell phone
98. Been stung by a bee

58/98 - How many have you done?!

(Copy and paste this then mark the things you've done) :)

Catch up.

So it has been two weeks since my last post, and yet SO many things have happened.

We'll start with a wedding. My dear friend and past roommate Courtney married another dear friend Blake the week before Thanksgiving. That was a happy occasion. I was there for the whole thing, from the beginning. It was so great to see them finally come to this point after everything that happened this past year. They are fantastic people, and they make an even more fantastic couple. I love them both.

Chicago. Chicago is AMAZING. I love that city, although I wasn't there long enough to determine if I love it more than NYC. (NYC is my city. In case you didn't know...). We got there in the late afternoon, checked into our hotel (which was in a GREAT location), and walked to Giordano's for some real Chicago deep dish pizza. Although I don't know if I was the biggest fan of the mass amount of cheese that was on the pizza, it was still delicious and definitely lived up to the expectation. We shopped for a little while after that and wandered around the "Magnificent Mile" (or whatever it's called) and had a grand ole time. The next morning we woke up and went to Navy Pier for breakfast at the Billy Goat Tavern. That was delicious. Then I went to the Art Institute of Chicago. I had to! They had an amazing collection! They had works from Van Gogh, Seurat, Renoir, Morisot, Cassatt, Wood, Whistler, Sargeant, Toulouse-Latrec, and tons of other greats. I was in heaven. Every room I entered I would say to myself "I am so happy." I didn't make it to the modern and contemporary galleries because I ran out of time. Next trip I'm going to have to go back. It was a much needed visit after the deprivation of good art I have suffered since returning from my spring study abroad. I'm a nerd for saying this, but I kind of felt like I was being reacquainted with old friends. Especially my dear friend Vincent Van Gogh. I missed that guy. Here are some pics from Chicago:

Anish Kapoor's Cloud Gate

Van Gogh's "The Bedroom." Happiness.

After Chicago we drove to South Bend, Indiana to spend Thanksgiving week with the WHOLE family. That was incredibly great. We haven't had the entire family together in almost a year. I love it when we all get together. We're fun. And there are always a lot of laughs. The kids were so fun to play with and I can't believe how much they have grown since I last saw them. They grow too fast. I loved when I heard my nephew singing in the morning and I went to peek in his room and he just sat up and smiled at me. I loved how my niece showed me her shoes and said we could now be twinners. I loved the dance parties we had. I loved the late night chats with my two older sisters after the kids had all been put to bed. I loved the amazing feast we all cooked up and the memories and tears shared about our dear grandma Saundra. We call Thanksgiving "her holiday." It really was. I thought about her a lot on Thanksgiving, just as I do every year during the holiday season. Miss her. I loved the madness of my first Black Friday shopping experience at Wal Mart (never again...). And I loved being able to take a family picture with everyone. It was a happy week. I can't wait to see them all again in less than two weeks in DisneyWorld! Party!

This last week has been killer. We planned a Mashup dance with the Salsa Club to benefit charity for BYU's Care Week. It was more stress for me than it needed to be, and all I can say is Hallelujah praise the Lord it is over with. We didn't have as great as a turn out that I had hoped for, but it wasn't too bad. We probably raised at least $300.

I'm really starting to gear up for finals. Finals get the best of me every year. I have 5 this time around. I also have a 10 page paper due on Tuesday. I have yet to start that. Life has been far too busy for me to even being able to think about that. Let's just say I'm kinda freakin' out. Things are crazy. I just can't wait until I finish that last final and head off to Florida where I don't have to think about school or work or internships and I can just play and be with my family for an extended period of time. I also am looking forward to the break because I will finally have time to just sit down, breath deeply, and really think about the couple of big life decisions I have facing me right now.

Despite the busy-ness, life is still good. I find myself down every now and then because of people or stress or bad grades or whatever, but it never lasts long and I pick myself up again and jump right back into the madness. What fun is life if there isn't madness here and there? Well, at least that's what I keep saying to myself...

I survive with the help of periodic comic relief finds. In case you are still reading this massive entry and are also in need of some comic relief, here is the latest from BYU's comedy sketch group, Divine Comedy. Pretty funny if I do say so myself.